Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Time is Write


Today the filter is gone. I can't make this funny or interesting or simple. I have been overcome by stress and intensity. I am in physical pain, and staring down rejection and shame. I feel embarrassed, scared, confused, wiped, blamed, angry, regretful, defensive, inadequate, uncomfortable, and partially overwhelmed.

I know this is a time of growth for me. Growth can be painful and sloppy. I say too much, I think too much. Even (or perhaps especially?) with self analysis, I am ungraceful in my delivery and dealings. Typically interpersonal relations with attractive, straight males are the bane of my reality. This is so assuredly true today.

It has been overcast too many days in a row. Mercury has been in retrograde, whatever that means? Alfa Heartbreaker is back. Heartbreaker Jr. is gone. I have open wounds, literally. And I need to be getting more sleep.

3 comments:

LtFlux said...

attractive straight men are the bane of my existence. don't worry. everything will work out. that's life. you gotta take some punches to get to the good stuff. or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Mercury in retrograde.. means that transportation will be unreliable and also anything mechanic or electric like your toaster.. wont be reliable either.
DOnt trust your toaster!

evercurious said...

you poor thing. I hope I can help you out in any way possibble.
Much love,
TIff