What Am I Thinking?!
I read in my Red Cross deployment packet that some shelter conditions will be "horrendous". Even the agency is straight up using strong language. No flowery cover job, eluding to some discomfort. Fuck. You have no idea how much I have gone back and forth on this thing in my mind. All the while just doing the next indicated thing to prepare. I talk to one person and I am on the plane. I talk to another and I think it is totally unrealistic for me to believe that I can return and finish my semester. AAAHH.
Some people just can't go. Simple. Then some people are just GOING! No doubt about it. I feel like I'm the only knucklehead who has taken the training and done the necessary footwork with hesitation in my heart.